As a mother, daughter, sister and business owner I am in awe as to how other people’s confidence has impacted my own life! Leaving a lasting imprint. Take for example as a mother, During parent evening the number of times the teachers have said the following words..perhaps you may also relate to this
“ If only she had more confidence in her ability to do the work, it would make such a difference to her grades”
As a parent how did I respond?
After thanking the teacher for such an encouraging observation of my child!
I turn to my child and these words roll out of my mouth
“You see, I told you can do it! All you need is ‘confidence’”
It reminds me a little of the lion lacking courage in the story Wizard Of Oz and solving the problem when given a bottle of courage to drink! It worked for the lion, a placebo effect. Would it work in this case?
Not so! As a parent and in support of ‘fixing’ this child’s fragile mind I believe instilling confidence within my child takes the form of repetition, positive and encouraging words and habit-forming action. That’s what great parenting is, isn’t it?
“Confidence & self-esteem begins when we are young. It is not constructed by receiving massive amounts of praise by parents and teachers. Instead, it is built upon the truth of trusting their own experience.” Therapy Ideas
As a sister I see my brothers journeying through life with their fragile and vulnerable persona masks, which take the forms of husband, father, career and many others as they struggle for attention and balance behaviour in an attempt to meet the demands of life.
I offer support through words of wisdom soothe their anxieties, maintaining the fragile confidence that upholds and maintains these masks!
As a business owner, Coaching2Transform has been built on a foundation which consists of Building Balanced Behaviour (BbalancedBiz), a holistic approach to personal and business success.
I struggled and still struggle with building balanced behaviour, as a result, low confidence I became obsessive about building balanced behaviour as coaching foundation from which all else has sprung. Supporting clients in being holistic and demonstrating authenticity is part of these coaching programs.
My practice has been built with the understanding that what we believe, the confidence we exhibit in that belief, impacts our behaviour, our behaviour impacts our performance and productivity in our business and our careers and these outcomes has an impact on our ‘tribe’ that is our family friends and those that we touch in our lives. All are interconnected and interdependent!
Which brings me back to the subject title of the email I believe confidence is a psychological projection Why? Because confidence is a construct also a quality that can be affected, projected or faked. Deep insecurity can masquerade as confidence, as seen in my brothers and struggling loved ones.
Projection is where a person projects their own personality traits, beliefs, emotions and ways of thinking onto somebody else YOU!
When we project things onto others, we are only defending ourselves against acknowledging our own positive and negative qualities. Therefore other people confidence can affect your wellbeing on an unconscious level.
Alongside confidence, there's another key element we need. Happiness!
Author Tal Ben-Shahar of the book ‘Happier' asks a really great question WHY? Do you want to be happy? The answer is truly as simple as because it is our nature to do so!
Happiness is the highest on the hierarchy of goals and the end towards which all other ends leads. Studies have shown that happy people are more successful in marriage, friendship, they thrive at work and live longer lives. ☯️
The relationship between happiness and success is reciprocal.
It is a worthwhile pursuit so, what is happiness??? Tal Ben-Shahar believes Happiness is “The overall experience of pleasure and meaning”
Having enjoyable positive emotions while perceiving life as purposeful, not in a single moment but an aggregate of experiences.
The ‘PLEASURE’ is about the experience of positive emotions in the here and now, The ‘MEANING’ comes from having a sense of purpose, from the future benefit of our actions.
Emotions play a pivotal role in our pursuit of happiness. Emotions cause motion, provide a motive which drives our action. If you're one of the 10,000's of vision care practitioners who are in pursuit of happiness and don't know how to get there.
Let BBalancedBiz get you to where you want to be, our 90 day program has the solutions for opticians and our program is tailored to ensure you succeed.
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